Things I want to ask my mom

My mom died 5.5 years ago. Here are some of the silly things I wish I could call and ask my mom intertwined with some serious things.

1. When I was 10 and sent away for my Joshua Jackson 8x10" photo, did you find the $2 and not send it? I never got my photo. I still think Joshua Jackson is gorgeous.

2. How did that tune that you always used to hum go? I can't remember and it drives me crazy.

3. Were you ever able to really forgive me for what I said to you after your surgery? 'Cause I still regret it.

4. Want to watch Finding Nemo with me tonight?

5. Did I ever take a polygraph test when I was little? I remember being 3 or 4 years old and everyone tells me that I didn't. but. I. remember. it.

6. What was your favorite slot machine? Did you like the video ones, or just the lame one line wins games? If it's the one liners, they suck.

7. What words did I say funny when I was a kid?

8. Tell me more about your dad. I'm too scared to ask your aunt. I think it will make her sad.

9. Did you hide anything around the house? Dad is kind of particular. If I were you I would have hidden notes everywhere.

10. Are you proud of me?

11. Can you yell at me? I can't remember your voice. It devastates me.

12. Remember when we were driving to Arkansas and needed to buy me a life vest because I couldn't swim? That was the first time I ever went to a Target. You told me to look for one, I couldn't read so you told me to look for a "bullseye". I remember.

13. Did you know that I was mad at you? When you told me the prognosis I was mad. I knew it was real and you were giving up. You deserved to make whatever choice you were going to make, you'd been through more than anyone should have to go through, but I just saw it as my mom was leaving me. Sometimes I still think that. I feel guilty for it all the time.

14. Did you know that 5.5 years later I'm just starting to deal with everything?

15. Did you know that you were my best friend?

16. Do you know that I love you and think of you every single day? Because I do.

CNN's Hero of the Year & Generation Y

As I sit here in tears over the beautiful story of Anuradha Koirala who is a woman providing support, shelter and speaking out against human trafficking at the boarder of Nepal and India, she says something that catches my attention. She says roughly pay attention to these youths, pointing to the youths that nominated her. "They are the future generation," she says.

If you haven't heard of Anuradha, please click the link above and read her story. It's a fantastic cause.

Now, getting back to my point, the quote above intrigues me, as I haven't heard it often outside of the typical cliche. To be honest everything I hear about generation y taking over is criticism and concern. I'm not saying that these concerns aren't valid. Trust me, I'm concerned too and I am a member of Gen Y; however, what do we gain out of our elder generations, our mentors, belittling our future instead of teaching us the values, skills or outlooks?

Now, with all due respect I do not mean to pass blame. The only thing that I really want to try to shed light on here is that we can ALL make a difference in the future, big or small. I try to set an example when children are around whether they are my niece and nephews or a random child in a store. I realize that the group of individuals in Gen Y are no longer children, they no longer have to be coddled, pat on the head nor be taken care of. Yet in my book if you have the ability to complain you have the ability to change what you don't like. If you're not making this effort you are no better than those you judge.

Merry-day-after-Christmas, here's a picture from our celebration: Pajama Christmas 2010. Please feel free to share thoughts on the topic above.

Defining New Opportunities

Hm, hm, hm, so what can I say? It's been a long time and much has happened. I am currently unemployed due to lay offs. At least it was through no fault of my own. I wont talk too much about that because there's simply no point. Now what I'm focusing on is where to go next.

Moving back to Texas- This is a HUGE option, and more of a backup plan/jumping platform than anything else.

Moving to Prague- I'm currently in the works with an opportunity that might take me to, yes, the Czech Republic. This would be fantastic, as it's an EU country and Prague is a beautiful city. It would give me the chance to explore and still stay on a similar career path; however, it is very early.

Staying in Washington, DC- With both it's pros and cons, DC has grown on me in the last 6 months. I don't see staying as much of an option at this point and to be honest, I don't see myself happy here in 20 years.

I don't know if those cities can get more culturally diverse from one another, I sincerely doubt the possibility. All I know is that I need to get something going, something where I have the potential for long term enjoyment and personal development. And, if I'm being totally honest, I also want a bit of adventure. Can you tell which option I'm interested in most?

one line.

Some things are just tougher to handle than others.

This is one of those things.

Congrats on your wedding.

3-Time Rock Star

Well, it looks like my coworker and I are still tied for earning Rock Star Awards in our office. We both won the exact same week, dammit. I mean, Congrats KT. ;) Really, the recognition and 75 congrats emails after are great and all but an extra 8 hours of vacay would be much better right now. I'm exhausted & it's going to get MUCH worse until September. The calm before the storm has ended as of 7.18.10. I'll travel from July 18-Aug 18 straight working 15 hour days. I then have a few personal things to take care of & then I leave 2 weeks later for a 3 week vacation in Italy, thank god.


The picture above is the Lincoln Memorial at Sunset on 7.4.2010

Death by 30-Day Shred

Ok, so obviously I didn't die, but I feel like I'm damn near close. I'm by no means an expert athlete, but I was doing pretty well running and eliptical-ing so I figured this wouldn't be too bad... it was painful. I did the first time a week ago and I literally made it through 10 minutes before my legs were shaking and in horrid pain. It took about 4 days to feel like I could walk again. Anyways, I gave it another shot today and made it through the first workout. Now, keep in mind the workouts are only 20 minutes long, if you're scoffing at me now try it first. I was easily doing an hour on the eliptical or miles on the treadmill and 20 minutes was brutal. I'm going to keep up with this one and see how it goes. On the other hand in the past 3 days without working out I've lost 6 lbs by watching labels & cutting out processed food. The Jillian Michaels claim of 20 lbs in 30 days doesn't mean to much to me-- I'm pretty sure I'll do that anyways. I'm just hoping that this workout along with my regular cardio speeds it up. Whew.

Oh and if you're wondering about what the all of a sudden diet & intense exercise is, I realized a few days ago that leave for Italy in LESS THAN 4 MONTHS!! Holy crap. I refuse to be Fattie McFatpants in Italy or the pictures from Italy.

A day in the life of ME

Here's an average Saturday for me in Spring 2010:

I wake up at 9:30 a.m.

Make my bed

Start a load of laundry

Make my breakfast, yum! Spinach, Peaches, Raspberry, Strawberry, Banana Smoothie

Drink Breakfast, Make Grocery List, Take Vitamins, Check Facebook

Check work emails

Shower time. So fresh & so clean clean...

Still grumpy. I hate mornings

It's now 10:38 a.m. I'm in my Jeep

Grocery Shopping @ Harris Teeter

Yum yum.

Lunch

Me driving

On my way to DC Proper

The Nation's largest phallic symbol... Me likey

US Capitol Building

Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. I love this one

Eleephhhannnntttt!

A shout out to my Aussie friends ;) The difference between two types of Kangaroos

ROARRRRRRRR!I love me some American History

If you were unaware before, please realize that Washington had a pretty rockin' bod.

"If my name ever goes into history it will be for this act, and my whole soul is into it"

~ Abraham Lincoln on the Emancipation Proclamation

Vote for Abe! Political banner from 1860. My 2nd favorite president

The draft wheel from the Civil War. Names were put in, the wheel was spun and names were selected from this wheel 1 by 1. The numbers & birthdays selections came later.

Dorothy's Slippers! My favorite movie as a child was Wizard of Oz

Kermy has made it into the American History Museum!

Self explanatory.

Vietnam War: Televised. Every TV was playing different footage from the war in Vietnam. This exhibit had almost as many people watching as Abraham Lincoln's tribute exhibit, it was incredibly horrific.

I left the Smithsonian to head to the monuments. It was 90F out today, perfect for frozen lemonade and a sit by the reflecting pool.

My favorite place in Washington, between the Reflecting Pool and the Washington Monument. Perfect place to put your feet in the freezing water, eat your frozen lemonade & read a book....

So that's what I did for a while

After reading, I took a walk over to the Lincoln Monument, my favorite. After seeing Honest Abe, I was ready to head home. Back to the Metro

Smithsonian Stop

On the train, Jamming out to what else but Negramaro? Giuliano Sangiorgi, how I love you.

The obnoxious overly PDA couple in front of me. Took this out of shock that they stopped sucking face.

Me pleased that they stopped sucking face. (On the Metro)

Checking up on some websites :)

Salmon burgers for dinner.

After this my camera died :( The rest of the night went as follows:
Shower again.
Go to bar in Leesburg
Hang out with Gerry
Come home
Watch Chelsea Lately
Go to Bed.

Just do it

Sometimes we all have to do things that we don't want to do. Buck up. I'm tired of babysitting for men that are OLDER than me, get it together. It's not my job to make sure you're doing something correctly. You have 10 more years of experience, quit being a baby and do it. Just do it. Listen to Nike.

Does this even count as blogging anymore?

I'm not sure if it counts anymore. I've been gone Nov 23-April3rd. Quite a stretch. Let's see:

December: I went back to Dallas for 2.5 weeks for the holidays. I cannot believe how big my nephews are getting now. When I saw them at Christmas they asked if I could sleep over and watch movies with them until MIDNIGHT! It was a huge deal for a pair of 8 year olds, that was my New Years Day and it was awesome. We watched "UP," which was surprisingly good. For Christmas my nephew, L., got a scrapbook of his trip to Disney this year. Even with the massive amounts of video games he turned to my sister-in-law (his mom,) and said "This is the best present I've ever gotten." What a sweet little guy. I also found out that my other nephew, A., has quite an obsession with infomercials, which has lead to my brother purchasing the perfect brownie pan, a set of snuggies, as well as other random goodies. For any infomercial that comes on A will tell you "it's a 'Just wait!'" or "Auntie, it's a limited time offer where you get a free ____ oh and you double the order for FREE!" I love it.

My niece is, well she just is. She's 13 now and much more of a pain than I was at 16. She was nice enough to me but overall a moody, angsty 13-year-old girl.

January: Rough month. My work team was regroupped and it was a very emotional thing. I was taken away from my professional mentor, but the world kept spinning. Change is always hard, this was particularly difficult.

February: The work changes were starting to improve. Valentines day bitterly came and went. I didn't leave the house so I didn't have to stare daggars at any fluffy red hearts or people with, gasp, flowers. (pouts) Oh, still a bit single, if you couldn't tell.

March: March was pretty good. I had a meeting with all of my coworkers in Maryland/DC. We resolved most of our issues with our work changes, if not all of them. I feel much better. I applied to another position but since I am happy here I wont really mind either way. I also had a friend from Dallas fly in for a conference so we were able to meet up for a night of debauchery (read: 3 drinks and some smack talk.) I quit smoking this month, despite a few minor setbacks, OH and I booked my trip to Italy!!!! I leave in 150-something days.

Now that we're caught up here is the thought I wanted to post initially:

Sometimes you have to let things take their own course. We can plan, plan, and plan some more, but circumstances are always susceptible to change. Be patient, you will find what you want. Be kind, as you can be what others need. Be imaginative, dream what others haven't dreamed. Be amazed. Basque in the glory that surrounds you. For it is what you least expect that is right around the corner.