Those who say that writing a novel comes naturally have never written a sex scene. I don't think this would be nearly as awkward if my father hadn't read the beginning of the story. I keep thinking "What happens when he reads this?" Awkward central. Anyways, I'm feeling completely overwhelmed by this task, hence the procrastination.
I know I'm not particularly eloquent on this blog, as it is my personal blog. Please be advised that my writing style is much more cohesive when I'm trying to tell a story. :)
My mom died 5.5 years ago. Here are some of the silly things I wish I could call and ask my mom intertwined with some serious things.
1. When I was 10 and sent away for my Joshua Jackson 8x10" photo, did you find the $2 and not send it? I never got my photo. I still think Joshua Jackson is gorgeous.
2. How did that tune that you always used to hum go? I can't remember and it drives me crazy.
3. Were you ever able to really forgive me for what I said to you after your surgery? 'Cause I still regret it.
4. Want to watch Finding Nemo with me tonight?
5. Did I ever take a polygraph test when I was little? I remember being 3 or 4 years old and everyone tells me that I didn't. but. I. remember. it.
6. What was your favorite slot machine? Did you like the video ones, or just the lame one line wins games? If it's the one liners, they suck.
7. What words did I say funny when I was a kid?
8. Tell me more about your dad. I'm too scared to ask your aunt. I think it will make her sad.
9. Did you hide anything around the house? Dad is kind of particular. If I were you I would have hidden notes everywhere.
10. Are you proud of me?
11. Can you yell at me? I can't remember your voice. It devastates me.
12. Remember when we were driving to Arkansas and needed to buy me a life vest because I couldn't swim? That was the first time I ever went to a Target. You told me to look for one, I couldn't read so you told me to look for a "bullseye". I remember.
13. Did you know that I was mad at you? When you told me the prognosis I was mad. I knew it was real and you were giving up. You deserved to make whatever choice you were going to make, you'd been through more than anyone should have to go through, but I just saw it as my mom was leaving me. Sometimes I still think that. I feel guilty for it all the time.
14. Did you know that 5.5 years later I'm just starting to deal with everything?
15. Did you know that you were my best friend?
16. Do you know that I love you and think of you every single day? Because I do.
As I sit here in tears over the beautiful story of AnuradhaKoirala who is a woman providing support, shelter and speaking out against human trafficking at the boarder of Nepal and India, she says something that catches my attention. She says roughly pay attention to these youths, pointing to the youths that nominated her. "They are the future generation," she says.
If you haven't heard of Anuradha, please click the link above and read her story. It's a fantastic cause.
Now, getting back to my point, the quote above intrigues me, as I haven't heard it often outside of the typical cliche. To be honest everything I hear about generation y taking over is criticism and concern. I'm not saying that these concerns aren't valid. Trust me, I'm concerned too and I am a member of Gen Y; however, what do we gain out of our elder generations, our mentors, belittling our future instead of teaching us the values, skills or outlooks?
Now, with all due respect I do not mean to pass blame. The only thing that I really want to try to shed light on here is that we can ALL make a difference in the future, big or small. I try to set an example when children are around whether they are my niece and nephews or a random child in a store. I realize that the group of individuals in Gen Y are no longer children, they no longer have to be coddled, pat on the head nor be taken care of. Yet in my book if you have the ability to complain you have the ability to change what you don't like. If you're not making this effort you are no better than those you judge.
Merry-day-after-Christmas, here's a picture from our celebration: Pajama Christmas 2010. Please feel free to share thoughts on the topic above.
Hm, hm, hm, so what can I say? It's been a long time and much has happened. I am currently unemployed due to lay offs. At least it was through no fault of my own. I wont talk too much about that because there's simply no point. Now what I'm focusing on is where to go next.
Moving back to Texas- This is a HUGE option, and more of a backup plan/jumping platform than anything else.
Moving to Prague- I'm currently in the works with an opportunity that might take me to, yes, the Czech Republic. This would be fantastic, as it's an EU country and Prague is a beautiful city. It would give me the chance to explore and still stay on a similar career path; however, it is very early.
Staying in Washington, DC- With both it's pros and cons, DC has grown on me in the last 6 months. I don't see staying as much of an option at this point and to be honest, I don't see myself happy here in 20 years.
I don't know if those cities can get more culturally diverse from one another, I sincerely doubt the possibility. All I know is that I need to get something going, something where I have the potential for long term enjoyment and personal development. And, if I'm being totally honest, I also want a bit of adventure. Can you tell which option I'm interested in most?
Well, it looks like my coworker and I are still tied for earning Rock Star Awards in our office. We both won the exact same week, dammit. I mean, Congrats KT. ;) Really, the recognition and 75 congrats emails after are great and all but an extra 8 hours of vacay would be much better right now. I'm exhausted & it's going to get MUCH worse until September. The calm before the storm has ended as of 7.18.10. I'll travel from July 18-Aug 18 straight working 15 hour days. I then have a few personal things to take care of & then I leave 2 weeks later for a 3 week vacation in Italy, thank god.
The picture above is the Lincoln Memorial at Sunset on 7.4.2010